Quotes

Spring 2016

• DH: "They're using dark magic to teach computer science."
• DB: "I'm all for frivolity. Within certain tightly constrained limits."
• JA: [While giving a presentation at SIGCSE 2016] "We like girls." *chuckle*
• CO: [to JA] "You look terrible."
• DB: [After many hours of interrupt debugging] "I am an interrupt and I will not shut off, what am I doing?" / FX: "I will never be interrupted because I'm too important."
• HB: [to FX] "Stop making people feel bad for you when they don't know any better."
• DB: "Every day, I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say three times, 'I will never be a pretty girl'."
• LM: "What's wrong with pillow room?"

Fall 2015

• CO: "Yeah, I think I'm supposed to tutor her, but if she asks for help, I'm not going to help her."
• DB: [After overhearing a conversation about Adam's thoughts] "You should not listen to him as a general rule."
• AN: "That guy looks like the love child of Brylow and Gimli... in a kind of good way."
• DB: "I feel like I'm contributing to your academic delinquency."

Summer 2015

• DH: "Salty Casey"
• DB: [In an email concerning the research project] "we *really* need to have revision control on this source"
• DH: "We don't use git. Everyone just sends me the stuff and I update it."

Spring 2015

• DB: "Berkeley? Stanford? You don't want to go there. They're just going to fall into the sea anyway."
• DB: "You don't need a high school student to test your stuff. Just find a liberal arts major."
• LM: "There are students sprouting up in the lab. I need some weedkiller."
• DB: "Half of my job is being a comedian. You should know that by now!"
• DB: "There is chalk on the chalkboard. This pleases me."
• DB: "Now, now. Be nice to each other. Nobody needs to be called a Windows fanboy. Or fangirl. Those are fighting words."
• DB: "This will create a new snubbet..."
• AM: "I have been this level of intelligence my entire life."
• DB: "You need to move them higher up into the tree so that you can cut off their heads."
• MB: "Luke... why are you typing with chopsticks?"
• LM: <After his partner has just left the lab, at 12:30 AM the day the project is due> "So, I have no idea where we are in this project. Or what to do right now."
• DB: "Oooh, I can smell the thinking!"
• DB: "And you know you've done it right when you have an inverted pentagram."
• DB: "You've most certainly been reported to the NSA." / FX: "I thought you had my back!" / MB: "He does. But he has America's back first."
• LM: "By the Beard of Brylow!" / DB: "That's 'by the beard of sky Brylow', thank you!"
• LM: "You have your terminal in white? What are you, a heathen?

Fall 2014

• LM: "Do you need to join your people now?"
• Prof: "Farzeen, what's an operating system?" / FX: "...a piece of software." / MB: "Two embedded courses, an OS course, Xinu researcher, and that's your answer?"
• DB: "There's no such things as dumb questions... just dumb students."
• DB: "It's like the zombie homework that does not die... [looks off into the distance] hmm, maybe thats a good idea for the future."
• CO: [As Dr. Brylow walks into the room on the exact minute class should start] "Oooooh, right on time." / LM: "Dr. Brylow is never late." / OH: "He arrives precisely when he means to."
• TM: "Chrome's not installed on these machines." / MB: "I know, its like working with stone knives and bear skins." / AM: "Hey, those are Dennis' words."
• AM: "Everything is easy if you just sit down and think about it first."
• DB: "Out would come... I don't know what would come out. Magical demons, it was a dark age."
• TM: "Sometimes its easier to not think about things and just do them." / AM: "Yeah well you spend your first ten-twelve years of your life in school being taught to do that; primary school, high school, and in college you're not taught not to, you just have to learn by yourself or become just another one of the nameless grunts in the world.

Spring 2014

• George Corliss: "...Of course, if you do that, your operating system is going to run slower than cold molasses running uphill backwards in the middle of winter."
• DB: "We are digital citizens in an analog universe."
• FX: "Robots will never enjoy music."
• JL: Commit message for combo pong & etch-a-sketch game across multiple embedded systems: "Pong party faileth. No acks yo."
• TM: "Bit-banging is similar to fingering."
• JL: "Get ACK me, bro."
• RV: "What's a rulebook?" / JJ: "It's like an API for football.
• DB: On chalkboard during Embedded/RTS: "DSP = Data Signals + Math --> coolness"
• FX: "He's the human embodiment of a YouTube comment."
• DB: "Fourier transforms. I know all of you either have never learned about this in your other classes or just don't want to remember it. Either way, that's fine for the purpose of this course."
• DB: "That's not a backpack, that's Farzeen!"
• DB: "The 'soul is in the software', as they say." / FX: "So THAT'S where {omitted}'s soul is!"
• DB: "One of you is going to run a motor into a wall, or a computer, or your labmate, and then say, 'Oops! Off-by-one error!'"
• MI: "What aspects of Hogwarts can we implement in Java?"
• JL: "Guys, I just spelled HDMI with a 'B'."
• DB: "What am I, a walking syllabus?"
• FX: "It's as if he has a crush on the guy. Except not really. It's kind of a...god crush." / JL: "That sounds like the whole lab and Dennis."

Fall 2013

• DB: "Cannibalism is generally frowned upon. It's normally considered an aberration."

Summer 2013

• DB: "I am not defined by a function."

Spring 2013

• DB: (When asked about how jump drives will be viewed in the future) "When I was a small child in the second decade of the third millennium, my Father carried around a cow-shaped totem in his pocket. When he wanted to access data, rather than simply call out a file descriptor into the pervasive ether of the webmind, he would rip the head off of the tiny cow, and insert its body into a special receptacle mounted on a nearby piece of pre-quantum technology, called a 'workstation'. By symbolically sacrificing the cow totem to his workstation deity, he could then access the primitive data using a mechanism called a 'universal serial bus', which was in no way universal, and actually only spoke to other similar totems in the immediate vicinity. The data was then conveyed to a specialized rectangle with an array of small, independently activated light sources, and he could assimilate the data only by staring intently at this contraption and muttering secret incantations under his breath. It was like stone knives and bear skins, man..."

Fall 2012

• DB: "You don't know about the halting problem???? Seriously? It's the most important topic of computer science over the last century. Which is the only century of computer science. So it pretty much tops the list."
• DB: "CHALK!"
• DB: "This is λ. It looks like the Japanese character for enter."/ JC: "Yeah, or the Greek letter λ."/ Everyone: "laughter"
• DB: "Hi Alex, we're on the stairs!"
• JC: "I wrote a joke my exam!" / DB: "Yes, so did I!" / JC: "There's a minus 5 here!" / DB: "Yes, that's the joke! I thought it was funny!"
• DB: "Is that example too 19th century for you?"
• AB: "Someone needs to immortalize copy-pasta forever."
• TM: "I like cake. And I like consing."
• AB: "Am I on there? Good. I never want to be quoted on there."
• AM: "I've decided that now is a good time to see if I like Regina Spektor."
• JP: "Q: What's the best way to generate a random string? A: Ask a first-year CS student to quit out of VIM."
• TM: "Adding true to 4 gives you...not 4."
• DB: "You're not in labor? Good. Then I'll call you back, because we're busy discussing type theory!"
• FX: "The Object class is to Java what Adam is to the Bible."

Summer 2012

• MZ: "XIPX really is just XINU." / AM: "Yeah I know." / MZ: "It's a sham... I hope I get away with it."
• DB: "If it weren't for Fatboy Slim, I wouldn't have a doctorate."

Spring 2012

• AM: "I almost overslept for my 5:30 class."
• AM: "Victor agrees." / VB: "I concur. I don't agree."
• MZ: "Deadline Sunday. I'm not sure I like the look of the [LaTeX] listings package..."
• AM: "If you're not spending at least $10 with each visit to the Brew you're not doing it right."
• KP: [in reference to the lab temperature] "Maybe they haven't figured out feedback controls here yet. I had to bust out my winter coat this morning." / MZ: "Maybe they're sampling below the Nyquist frequency of the weather."
• KP: "We don't water down our Engineering with any of that Pure Math stuff."
• MZ: "I am really bad at finishing anything ever, ever, ever." / KP: "Sucks to be Kate."
• MB: "I don't want anything that Ke$ha produced stuck inside me."
• VB: "I use iPods for toilet paper."
• NJ: "I hope the real world isn't like OS."
• AM: "He's such a nerd. He wants me to spend my Saturday night playing Magic. God doesn't he know I'm going to be doing homework instead."
• VB: "Make a slide about me. It can be part of the lab diversity section."
• KP: "She even aced my recursion test." / DB "You had me at she. No, who am I kidding, you had me at recursion."
• DB: "Seriously? Zip that up, man! ...and that does NOT go on the quotes page!"
• AM: "You ever watch Frasier?" / MZ: "Yeah." / AM: "Show's awesome."

Fall 2011

• PS: "I don't know how I would feel if people thought I was a robot."
• AM: "You know how you know your program is working?" / KP: "No, how?" / AM: "The ENTIRE matrix is filled with NaN."
• [bar erupts in commotion at Brewers' final score] MZ: [singing Avril Lavigne karaoke] Chill out, what you yellin' for..."
• AM: "Watch out! Kyle drank a Red Bull and now he's in OCD cleaning mode."
• AM [sneezes]: "Where is your napkin stash?" / KP: "Why don't you just use your handkerchief?" / AM: "It's a bandanna. And I don't like to sneeze into my accessories, Kyle."
• AM: "Whoa new whiteboard! Goal-oriented Wednesday--we're going to get so much done today. We're going to hang it, and write stuff on it... and that's it!"
• AM: "Present Adam *really* hates Past Adam right now... but not as much as Present Adam doesn't care about Future Adam."
• MZ: "Should I feel dumb for writing a function that takes ten parameters? Is there some rule against that?"
• AM: "We were solving PDEs; it was cool." / KP: "I hate you."
• AM: "I started buying girls socks. Changed my life. ... And now I buy them so people CAN see the cool patterns on the side."
• AM: "That was the lame reason I gave you when I thought this argument was going to take ten seconds. I lied."
• MZ: "My desk is littered with these sheets of paper with stack dumps scribbled all over." / KP: "My desk is littered with sheets of paper with packet sequence numbers scribbled all over. ... Mallen's desk is littered with coffee cups from the Brew!"
• DB: "His kids are at the age where they're coordinated but not old enough to control themselves." / MZ: "So kind of like Mallen?"
• MZ: "I'm not really sure how young she is." / DB: "You shouldn't say that out loud."
• MZ: "It all started with some questions I never answered..." / KP: "Hey you've got the first line of your autobiography written!"
• AM: [to KP] "I got really excited thinking that girl was doing a double-take checking me out, but then I realized she was just looking at the robot you're carrying."

Summer 2011

• AM: "We'll see how much I get done today. I'm easing myself into summer research mode, OK? I showed up. That's a start."
• KP: "We need to get a third one on our little braniac team that's good at focusing on things. Then we could get some really cool stuff done."
• KS: [referring to car battery in lab] "So... you trying to run Xinu on this thing?"
• AM: "You know what's weird? Some people were born after 1990." / MZ: "Annie's little brothers were born after 1990." / AM: "My girlfriend was born after 1990."
• AM: "1992."
• PS: "You mean you don't like watching me watching you sleep."
• DB: "Dump her."
• DB: "What if the rebooter starts on fire?" / MB: "I guess that would cause it to fail"
• KP: "In Soviet Russia, GNOME 3 Shell workflows YOU!"
• AM: "Wait, what? You said something about lunch and I got excited because I can afford it today."

Spring 2011

• AM: "I don't have a week; I have like five plus two days."
• OS Kid: "Wow, my whole program is a 'while' loop." / KP: "Welcome to embedded systems."
• KP: [referring to oscope signal] "Well, the basic concept is there." / AM: "Yeah, maybe if you want to make a human to demon translator."
• KP: "I'm not going to go as far to say it's killing two birds with one stone. It's more like you throw a handful of stones and take out a whole field of birds."
• AM: "I'm really sick. I have the super flu or something." / SG: "Super Flu? ... Sounds like a movie Dr. Brylow would own."
• MS: "married.c:1:20: error: social.h: No such file or directory"
• MZ: "I actually wrote vim back in the 60's."
• KP: "You're the worst computational sciences major ever. You hate computers and you hate numbers." / AM: "Right. Research is like a battle between me and this machine. I try to make it surrender information. Epic struggle between good and evil."
• DB: "So you see the limitations of Google because you're looking for an answer to a very specific question in a domain that is not widely searched." / SG: "Yahoo then?"
• DB: "Leave your gun and knife collection at home... even though we are going to Texas."
• MZ: [pouring liquid coffee into trash] "There's got to be something absorbant in there."
• AM: "So look at this...this is probably what's been going wrong for months. Whoaaah, but why???"
• AM: "If you take all those words I just said and add or subtract a couple it's right."
• AM: "It's the most fun I have ever had by myself."
• SG: "I'm getting turned on even and I hate Pokemon!"
• AW: "This place is infested with Adams."
• KP: [playing Angry Birds] PHYYYYYSSSSSICSSS!

Fall 2010

• DB: "Adam is 'theoretically' good at what he does"
• AM: "Do you realize that if a girl has a boyfriend you're competing with just one man, but when she's single you're competing with every man?"
• AM: "I'm trying to quit caffeine. I think I had a heart attack this morning."
• MS: [in regards to running Xinu on a roomba] "I believe the O/S students would say, 'Xinu doesn't need to suck any more than it already does.'"
• KP: "If there's a ghetto solution to something, it's in this lab."
• AM: "Iced tea is too iced tea-y, and lemonade is too lemonade-y"
• [Dr. Brylow enters the lab] MK: "Dibs!" / SG: "Dibs!" / RB: "You can't dibs Dr. Brylow, he's a people."
• KP: [In reference to the thermostat] "Stand back; I'm about to engineer this thing."
• DB: "Type make, and it compiles... with errors, because it's _____'s code."
• AM: "You can't just type like string something in C?" / KP: "No." / AM: "God, who the hell uses C anyway?" / KP: "Uh... everyone in this laboratory?"
• KP: "Hmm. Should I call DPS and make them let me into my office?" / VB: "Start a fire! That will make them come over here."
• AM: "How come CTRL+A doesn't select everything? [on Nekros] ... Oh wait, I'm using the keyboard on my laptop."
• SG: "Why are you treating me like a hooker?" ... "Whooo all these singles, strip club tonight boys!"
• AG: [referring to the new lockers] "They're probably the most secure thing on the Windows side of the lab."
• [when KP's scp failed] Ashley: Mawdryn and Nyssa are out shopping. Nekros is there too.
• DB: "This entire sentence reads like it was outsourced to India."
• AM: "Steve makes my heart skip a beat." / VB: "I feel the same way."
• AM: "Drinking by yourself is way more fun than drinking with other people. ... I don't get a lot of alone time."
• AM: "Victor plays dancing video games all the time; that doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to dance."
• KP: "No, he'll probably just wait around in his person... drawn... carriage..." / AM: "You mean a rickshaw?"
• AM: "Ahhhhh, stupid quotes page! I haven't been working for like ten minutes."
• RB: "I don't know if I really want to let girls play with my gun."
• AM: "I love LaTeX; it's like a mystery. Every time you compile, you never know what you're going to get."
• SG: [to the tune by Cutting Crew] "I ... just compiled in your arms tonight. Must have been somethin' you typed."
• KP: "My numbers are a little off..." / AM: "Just blame it on numeric instability and move on."
• MZ: "I can't believe we didn't notice that k*sin(x) before. Where do you get your springs Yaz? Does McMaster have like a weird section?"
• KP: "I'm going to have to side with PartyAdam on this one." / AM: "And you know how much it pains him to say that so it must be true."
• AM: [in reference to an argument that spurred about whether quotes should go at the top or the bottom of each section] "I'm going to have to agree with RA Kyle on this one." / KP: "And you know how much it pains him to say that so it must be true."
• SG: "Tron in 3D would be better than a trip to Disney World."

Summer 2010

• AM: "It's more confusing when I get it!"
• DB: [In reference to WRT160NL routers] "This isn't like the other children. It's something different."
• Krenz: "There's light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train."
• AK: "I'm so confused by this new ls."
• DB: "Do I need to sacrifice goat entrails to the new Fedora 13 for you to be happy with it?"
• AG: "Does anyone here know Perl." / DB: "It is an abomination."
• AK: [Commit message] "fixed first bug after the last bug"
• DB: "Just add like three more zeros to it. Screw it. ... Okay maybe three zeros was a little much."
• KP: "Why can't the phone work like this." / DB: "Because the phone is not a stepper motor." / KP: "Can I write a thesis on M&M dispensing?"
• AM: "Can we just set it back to Fedora 1 and leave it there?"
• KP: "How long could it take to write an essay for your diet coke of a thesis?"
• SG: "I can't believe I ran into a f*cking pole."
• SG: "I expected more blinking and less doing nothing."
• KP: "Have you ever had Pita Bros?" / DB: "No, where's that?" / KP: "It's the hybrid electric cart that parks by campus selling food." / DB: "Oh, no don't eat there that's a good way to get botulism."
• AK: "Who castrated the ARP command?"
• DB: "If the Ethernet device is a fire hose and the serial device is a garden hose, where should the excess water go?" / KP: "The pool."
• KT: "We need to break a router so we have a reason to use the debricker." / KP: "There's a whole pile of reasons right over there."
• KP: [shakes head] / KT: "Have I failed in some way?"
• KP: "Let's boot this b*tch!"

Spring 2010

• AM: "Babies are like larvae that evolve into people."
• KT: "I use tilde all the time." / DB: "Maybe a little too much."
• KT: [after using a configure script that accidentally made a directory named ~] "I was trying to remove the ~ directory. I tried rm -r ~ and the system complained about files in use. I thought that was weird, so I used the -f force option [resulting in rm -rf ~]. When I tried to use make, it said file not found and that is when I realized I deleted my home directory."
• AM: "What does that mean?" / MS: "You can't eat Catholics on Friday."
• DB: "These little details are like sorting your M&Ms by color before you eat them." / ZL [who is color deficient]: "I always do that. It's good practice." / DB: "Bad example."

Fall 2009

• AK: "If you fail [the GRE] every time, that's a hint."
• ZL: [Talking about the sound coming from the VoIP speakers] "That's a new one. I like it. You could almost dance to it." / AK: "Really quickly."
• ZL: "Do you live here [in the lab]?" / DS: "If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black..." / ZL: "You make a good point."
• AM: "When does grad school get fun?" / DB: "When you are done, and you look back on it fondly, and you have a high paying doctoral job."
• AM: "It's Friday. Who am I kidding?"
• MK: "I'm going to be using this [red pen] all semester. It will be a good investment."
• FH: "Not that it's my thing, but there is no alcohol allowed, right?"
• DB: [After setting a bag of candy on the table] "Marquette Dental School appreciates your business."
• DB: "Thesis first!"
• Steve Merrill: [While working with MATLAB] "FAIL!"
• ZL: "...or we could throw it off the balcony." / DB: "NO!"
• ZL: "I have a plan to test that. It requires three computers." / DB: "I like it already."

Summer 2009

• DB: "Why is this not working?" / MS: "Morbius is not promiscuous enough."
• AM: "Isn't holy water hard to come by?"
• DB: [Speaking about AM's meeting with CS] "We also don't recognize [Struble] as a valid commitment."
• RB: "Don't just sit there and gloat at me."
• RB: "Jokes don't really work right now. Sorry."
• AM: "Ruining my body with one substance is enough."
• AM: "I need someone to hold my hand when I go get a haircut."
• AM: "Everyone sounds lame when they post on girls' walls."
• AM: "I'm in Cudahy. I work here and live here."
• DB: "Adam counts as -1." / AG: "Only one?"
• ZL: "It sounds like crap but it corresponds."
• DB: "I will be the supportive advisor this evening." / MS: [Sarcastically] "What a change."
• AM: "In dangerous situations, that's when it's best to drink
• AG: "Yeah. We played Wii bowling. And I learned how to play Magic." / DB: "Ohh noo. It's like supervoc being taking over by the mad man. Once SV7 is gone its all downhill."
• DM: "Iran. Iraq. IRAW."
• AG: "You can only flash something once." / ZL: "Clearly, because you get arrested after that."
• AM: "I was rushing because I needed to be here by 3pm today."
• MS: "He just put a hack on top of a hack on top of a hack." / AG: "You don't have a network stack, you have a network hack." / ZL: "You have a network pile."
• AK: "Someone wrote on our table." / AN: "Kill them."
• DB: [Talking about hair] "That's not a matter of personal preference; that's correct."
• AM: "There would be so many good quotes if we allowed f-words."
• MS: [Speaking to DB's friends] "You might want to bring your own videos."
• RB: "Oh no. It works consistently. It gets my hopes up only to shatter them."
• ZL: "It's good. But.." / AG: "But, It looks like I cheated. ... You got to cheat sometimes."
• Doug Harris: "Why would I doubt you, you are a student whose life depends on following the rules, I am only Director of a program which is supposed to enforce the rules."
• AK: "Yeah. I'm pretty much done. I'm wasted."
• AG: "I fear ugliness."
• AM: "Chicks dig werewolves."
• AM: "Computers should never take this long to do something unless its awesome." / GV: "Did you press the turbo button?"
• RB: [To AM] "You're going to make some freaky girl very happy someday."
• AG: "It looked like you were conducting an orchestra." / MS: "Well, I was composing an email."
• RB: "I feel like I am using beta every time I log into Windows."
• ZL: "Get it done. Testing is not important."
• DB: "What's wrong with you people?"
• ZL: "The thing is, when I do say something offensive, it's very good."
• AM: "The sooner I get kicked out of the lab, the sooner I can start drinking."
• MS: [Commit message] "Updated the Xinu banner for version 2.0. We can release now."

Spring 2009

• AM: "Do you really want me in charge of something that affects another human being?"
• TB: "Sleep sounds amazing right now." / AM: "Oh my god...does it ever!"
• ZL: "I'm all about making fun of people while they're in the room."
• DB: "The Internet is a vast wasteland of sewage."
• DB: "I won't say it's fixed, but I have now intervened on your behalf."
• Zachary's Girlfriend: "Darn. I am taking on Brylow traits."
• DB: "You can think of them as ornaments hung on a syntax tree."
• AK: "purged Tim from nvram"
• AK: "If you want some sort of base for how sick I still feel just insert a burst of coughing after each sentence while reading this email."
• DB: "The rat gets nothing!"
• AG: "My brain operates at 10,000 Gemberflops per second."
• AG: "I'm not saying it's my opinion. I'm just saying its Adolph's opinion."
• DB: "He's celebrating the month of feasting."
• DB: "There's a special travel dispensation for pretzels."
• CS: "I'm not very quotable."
• AM: "Oh, it's travelling up in my butt."
• AK: "I shut off Slayer while we are gone." / MS: "I'm sure Mawdryn will turn itself off, too."
• AM: "My room mate never plays with me."
• MS: "I just made a mess on the seat."
• TB: "I don't need a haircut - I am representing myself at this conference."
• AM: [Referring to high performance gum] "It is just like high performance computing: it's really really good for a really really short period of time."
• AK: [Speaking to Brylow] "We just got out of Cracker Barrel and you are already eating pretzels."
• AM: "Oh my God - Dinosaur World. We are skipping SIGCSE."
• TB: "Yeah, my life is a joke sometimes."
• TB: "One of these days I'll get English right."
• Presenter at SIGCSE 2009: "I mean, it's kind of fun to trash your operating system."
• TB: "I like to let my hair air-dry. It poofs better."
• ZL: "I would not want Tim on my team for a game of telephone."
• DB: "They're not pretzel rods, they're fuel rods."
• DB: "But that's non-linear board usage. I never do that."
• AK: "There's a lot more TODOs where those came from."
• DB: [Said to an almost empty lab] "Aren't I paying a bunch of students to work for me?"
• AM: "Aww we all got laser pointers! This is gonna rule!"
• TB: "I thought I fixed everything doing nothing. It happens so many times."
• [A discussion on going to the bar in a lab of all guys] / AG: "We're probably not as good looking as Victoria." / AM: "Yeah, and she has a boyfriend...but none of you have boyfriends."
• DB: "Just for funsies."
• TB: [As AM points a laser pointer at TB] "I feel like I'm being sniped."
• Ryan Feil: [Speaking in the lab of an operating systems assignment] "Shouldn't there be more people here scrambling to get this done."
• MS: [As DB writes "IP Stack" on the board] "Ha ha. He pees stack. IP urine."
• ZL: "Really all we have right now are questions."
• MS: [On a sheet of paper hidden among AM's homework] "#6. Thm: Adam sucks! Ha ha. / Pf: trivial."
• ZL: "I should just source control my...everything."
• DB: "English is not sufficient for teaching compilers."
• TB: "That's it. It's 100 percent done."
• TB: "We were 100 percent done. We just need to get more speed-up."
• AG: "So, Tim, when you are 30, will you say your life is 100 percent done?"
• AG: "make tim: now compiling nonsense.c"
• DB: "Oh, here we go: proof by rant. That's a new one."
• AM: "Do you really want me representing this school." / DB: [Out of context] "No."
• AG: "If I leave the lab, I feel like I'm leaving civilization behind."
• AG: [Browsing through Mike's wedding gift registry] "Xinu only has 50 threads. The sheets Mike wants have 410, but they don't have memory protection."
• AK: "Oh good Brylow left. Now I can leave."
• AK: [First commit message] "modified some ifthenelse stuff to look a little more like class" / [Second commit message] "removed the code I added to ifthenelse, it made no sense and didn't compile"
• DB: [To a prospective student touring the System's Lab] "Ignore the rat."
• MS: [Discussing DB's tests] "Why would you study for his test? You are either screwed or not screwed...it's fairly binary."
• MS: [Left a message for AG] "I hax0rd your boxor!"
• AM: "Oh look. She dumped me on Facebook. Awesome!"
• DB: "Don't stroke the yeast colony."
• MS: [Speaking of his yeast colony] "It's free!" / DB: "Don't release it!"
• MS: "If I just get really offensive and harsh with what I say then I won't get quoted any more."
• DB: "Alright, I'm going home. See you in the morning." / ZL: "The morning. Really?" / DB: "Well no."
• MS: [Anticipating DB's response to new advisees] "You want to be my advisee. Kiss the clock."
• MS: "It is much more important to see me being reamed up the ass."
• JN: [Discussing potential names of Dan Mahoney's future son] "Name him your last name backwards so he can be a palindrome."
• AK: "Big setup no follow through." / AG: "I'm all about that." / MS: "That's what she said."
• DB: "That's not an algorithm; that's a sweatshop."
• Lyndsie: "High school cheer leading is even on ESPN." / MS: "That is really sweet!"
• AM: "I always assume that everyone in the world is just listening to me to talk. I also assume that people just follow me around just to listen to me."
• AM: "Every time Tim opens his mouth to say something about the poster, you just close your eyes and pray."
• DB: "This will all work out right? Induction through hand-waving."
• DB: "Except it's like fake adoption, where it turns out the child is actually yours."
• "If you're concerned about that you're probably in the wrong major, because we're going to build skynet."
• DB: "So we are selling you to indentured servitude now?" / AM: "I hope so, then I get free passage to the new world."
• DB: "Why do you work here?"
• AM: "I have three desks worth of space just taken up with garbage and shit."
• AN: "You know, pretty soon that relationship will be 100% done."

Fall 2008

• MN: [Talking about the large rubber rat] "I don't get paid enough to have this thing look at me."
• AK: "Now that grading's done, I deserve a pretzel."
• AG: "I haven't even started, and I already feel defeated." / MS: "Welcome to graduate school."
• RFC 793: Transmission Control Protocol: "When the original SYN (pun intended) finally arrives at line 6, the synchronization proceeds normally."
• AM: "If I think more than 30 seconds into my own future I start to panic."
• AM: "Once again, I've solved the problem, but the computer has failed to see my genius."
• DB: "It takes many years of sucky teaching to learn how to teach well. You have to start sucking somewhere."
• TB: "When you get the packet it is all going to be out of order."
• MS: "I was going to ask you what they stood for, but I knew the answer was: 'Get the hell out of my office Mike.'"
• DB: "You have the plague now too?"
• AK: "It was like Tim's brain on a piece of paper."
• AK: "His abstract was words in a paint can and all he did was throw it on a poster."
• TB: "Yeah, how did we get sidetracked." / AM: "I started talking."
• DB: "Now US-41 through Terre Haute, that's the corridor of hell."
• Zachary's Sister: [Upon visiting the Systems Lab] "It's like having six zacs."

Summer 2008

• linux-2.6.25.9/lib/iomap.c: Ugly macros are a way of life.
• ../net/tcp/tcpTimer.c:101: error: ‘rum’ undeclared (first use in this function)
• BH: "Vim has a learning curve." / MS: "No, it's a line."
• MS: "[re: Firefox Plushie] Wow, that look more like a raccoon to me. And wouldn't that just make people position Linux Tux and Firefox Fux is various explicit positions? Or is that just me?" / DB: "Yes, Michael. It is just you. And I don't think the Firefox mascot's proper name is 'Fux.'"
• JP: "I'm laughing because my nose itches."
• JP: "I'm not going to start my own business. For a business to work, the owner has to care."
• MS: "Broken Beyond Syntax, that's going to be the title of my autobiography."

Spring 2008

• AK: "[online review of sushi place in Portland with Aaron] Sit in the lounge. The red chairs are very comfortable. The food was really good too. Had some chicken dish, don't remember what it was called."
• JP: "I'm not saying it's my opinion, I'm just saying it's an opinion."
• JP: "Yeah, that's just fool complicated."
• AG: "Even Tim's pictures have bugs in them."
• AK: "Warnings mean you are smarter than the compiler!"
• AG: "Do you use text messaging?" / JP: "What's that?"
• AG: "I feel like doing something. What should I do?" / PH: "Go home."
• DB: "Any questions? What else have I forgotten to tell you?" (email to lab) / Response: "The XINU lab notes that you forgot to tell us that you love us."
• DB: "Traditionally, graduate students get a bed to themselves in this situation."
• PH: "I'm really going to enjoy watching the commits to this branch."
• ZL: "Voc and Supervoc joined at the UART"
• George Corliss: "Verbose. Minus 5."
• Steve Merrill: "Publish! Publish! Publish!" (walking down the hall past junior faculty offices)
• JP: "I am just participating cause I'm standing here."
• JP: "New commands are silly."
• JP: "I've solved all kinds of problems in my life that no one's ever solved before."
• AG: "You know scheme. I know scheme. We all scheme for ice cream."
• DB: "I like StarTrek, but that would be less a hobby and more an investment."
• MS: "Subtract two." / MN: "Why?" / MS: "...because I said so." / MN: "...alright..." / MS: "...and then when that doesn't work subtract four. But two should work." / MN: "Two didn't work." / MS: "Damnit! Subtract four." (Conversation continues in a similar fashion until Matt ends up subtracting eight.)
• DB: "So they basically made a hammer and went after everything that could be a nail."
• JP: "This is so unfair to us petty criminals."
• DB: "We'll all be getting eye transplants soon."
• DB: "I am somehow derived from C." (on the ubiquity of the C programming language)
• JP: "First you have to get the $3,000 license for the whizbang that does all the work."
• DB: "I don't remember what the silly window is, but it must be important."
• AK: "[UML is] just a bunch of boxes on paper."
• DB: "Java has corrupted you all."
• KJ: "There are some fonts that really spread out a paper." (discussing parameters for COSC 198 term paper)
• DB: "You're telling me to put in less work. I'm not going to argue with you."
• See MIPS Run, 2nd Ed.: "When we finally make contact with aliens, their wheelbarrows will have round wheels and their computers will probably use fixed-size pages."
• RFC 826: An Ethernet Address Resolution Protocol: "The world is a jungle in general, and the networking game contributes many animals."

XINU Pith

• XINU Cometh.
• XINU Returneth.
• XINU Calls.
• XINU Returns.
• XINU Creates.
• XINU Reschedules.
• XINU Saves and Restores.
• XINU Preempts.
• XINU Comes Not to JUDGE, But to EXECUTE...
• XINU Knows Your Inmost Firmware.
• XINU Brings New Life to Old Hardware.
• XINU Waits.
• XINU Allocates.
• XINU Deallocates Away.
• XINU Tastes Great.
• XINU Has Less Filling.
• XINU Runs FOREVER.
• XINU Eschews Obfuscation.
• XINU Does Not Do Windows.
• XINU Brings ORDER out of CHAOS.
• XINU Brings CHAOS from ORDER.
• He Whoever Believes in XINU Shall Have Eternal Processing.
• XINU Shall Run Again.
• XINU Is Not UNIX.
• XINU. It's What's For Dinner.
• No XINU and No Mips Make Homer Something Something...
• See XINU. See XINU Run. Run XINU Run.
• XINU Allocateth, XINU Deallocateth Away.

Abbreviations

Abbreviation	Name
AB	Alex Becherer
AG	Aaron Gember
AK	Adam Koehler
AM	Adam Mallen
AN	Anon.
AW	Adam Welc
BH	Brandon Hahn
CO	Casey O'Hare
CS	Craig Struble
DB	Dennis (or Dr.) Brylow
DH	Omokolade "David" Hunpatin
DM	Dan Mahoney
DS	Devin Sigulinsky
FH	Fran Hurtado
FX	Farzeen Harunani
GV	Gabe Van Eyck
HB	Heather Bort
JA	Jason Arnold
JC	Jackson Cohen
JJ	JJ Puccetti
JL	Jason Laqua
JN	Joe Pintozzi
JP	Justin Picotte
KB	Kaleb Breault
KJ	Kyle Jackson
KP	Kyle Persohn
KS	Karl Stamm
KT	Kyle Thurow
LM	Luke Mivshek
MB	Matt Bajzek
MI	Mike Slattery
MK	Matthias Kohler
MN	Matt Netkow
MS	Michael Schultz
MZ	Michael Ziwisky
NJ	Nick Jelen
PH	Paul Hinze
PS	Paul Spillane
RV	Ryan Vogt
SG	Steven Gago
TB	Tim Blattner
TM	Tyler Much
VB	Victor Blas
ZL	Zachary Lund