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- AK: "If you fail [the GRE] every time, that's a hint."
- DB: "Why is this not working?" / MS: "Morbius is not promiscuous enough."
- AM: "Isn't holy water hard to come by?"
- DB: [Speaking about AM's meeting with CS] "We also don't recognize [Struble] as a valid commitment."
- RB: "Don't just sit there and gloat at me."
- RB: "Jokes don't really work right now. Sorry."
- AM: "Ruining my body with one substance is enough."
- AM: "I need someone to hold my hand when I go get a haircut."
- AM: "Everyone sounds lame when they post on girls' walls."
- AM: "I'm in Cudahy. I work here and live here."
- DB: "Adam counts as -1." / AG: "Only one?"
- ZL: "It sounds like crap but it corresponds."
- DB: "I will be the supportive advisor this evening." / MS: [Sarcastically] "What a change."
- AM: "In dangerous situations, that's when it's best to drink
- AG: "Yeah. We played Wii bowling. And I learned how to play Magic." / DB: "Ohh noo. It's like supervoc being taking over by the mad man. Once SV7 is gone its all downhill."
- DM: "Iran. Iraq. IRAW."
- AG: "You can only flash something once." / ZL: "Clearly, because you get arrested after that."
- AM: "I was rushing because I needed to be here by 3pm today."
- MS: "He just put a hack on top of a hack on top of a hack." / AG: "You don't have a network stack, you have a network hack." / ZL: "You have a network pile."
- AK: "Someone wrote on our table." / Anonymous: "Kill them."
- DB: [Talking about hair] "That's not a matter of personal preference; that's correct."
- AM: "There would be so many good quotes if we allowed f-words."
- MS: [Speaking to DB's friends] "You might want to bring your own videos."
- RB: "Oh no. It works consistently. It gets my hopes up only to shatter them."
- ZL: "It's good. But.." / AG: "But, It looks like I cheated. ... You got to cheat sometimes."
- DH: "Why would I doubt you, you are a student whose life depends on following the rules, I am only Director of a program which is supposed to enforce the rules."
- AK: "Yeah. I'm pretty much done. I'm wasted."
- AG: "I fear ugliness."
- AM: "Chicks dig werewolves."
- AM: "Computers should never take this long to do something unless its awesome." / GV: "Did you press the turbo button?"
- RB: [To AM] "You're going to make some freaky girl very happy someday."
- AG: "It looked like you were conducting an orchestra." / MS: "Well, I was composing an email."
- RB: "I feel like I am using beta every time I log into Windows."
- ZL: "Get it done. Testing is not important."
- DB: "What's wrong with you people?"
- ZL: "The thing is, when I do say something offensive, it's very good."
- AM: "The sooner I get kicked out of the lab, the sooner I can start drinking."
- AM: "Do you really want me in charge of something that affects another human being?"
- TB: "Sleep sounds amazing right now." / AM: "Oh my god...does it ever!"
- ZL: "I'm all about making fun of people while they're in the room."
- DB: "The Internet is a vast wasteland of sewage."
- DB: "I won't say it's fixed, but I have now intervened on your behalf."
- Zachary's Girlfriend: "Darn. I am taking on Brylow traits."
- DB: "You can think of them as ornaments hung on a syntax tree."
- AK: "purged Tim from nvram"
- AK: "If you want some sort of base for how sick I still feel just insert a burst of coughing after each sentence while reading this email."
- DB: "The rat gets nothing!"
- AG: "My brain operates at 10,000 Gemberflops per second."
- AG: "I'm not saying it's my opinion. I'm just saying its Adolph's opinion."
- DB: "He's celebrating the month of feasting."
- DB: "There's a special travel dispensation for pretzels."
- CS: "I'm not very quotable."
- AM: "Oh, it's travelling up in my butt."
- AK: "I shut off Slayer while we are gone." / MS: "I'm sure Mawdryn will turn itself off, too."
- AM: "My room mate never plays with me."
- MS: "I just made a mess on the seat."
- TB: "I don't need a haircut - I am representing myself at this conference."
- AM: [Referring to high performance gum] "It is just like high performance computing: it's really really good for a really really short period of time."
- AK: [Speaking to Brylow] "We just got out of Cracker Barrel and you are already eating pretzels."
- AM: "Oh my God - Dinosaur World. We are skipping SIGCSE."
- TB: "Yeah, my life is a joke sometimes."
- TB: "One of these days I'll get English right."
- Presenter at SIGCSE 2009: "I mean, it's kind of fun to trash your operating system."
- TB: "I like to let my hair air-dry. It poofs better."
- ZL: "I would not want Tim on my team for a game of telephone."
- DB: "They're not pretzel rods, they're fuel rods."
- DB: "But that's non-linear board usage. I never do that."
- AK: "There's a lot more TODOs where those came from."
- DB: [Said to an almost empty lab] "Aren't I paying a bunch of students to work for me?"
- AM: "Aww we all got laser pointers! This is gonna rule!"
- TB: "I thought I fixed everything doing nothing. It happens so many times."
- [A discussion on going to the bar in a lab of all guys] / AG: "We're probably not as good looking as Victoria." / AM: "Yeah, and she has a boyfriend...but none of you have boyfriends."
- DB: "Just for funsies."
- TB: [As AM points a laser pointer at TB] "I feel like I'm being snipped."
- Ryan Feil: [Speaking in the lab of an operating systems assignment] "Shouldn't there be more people here scrambling to get this done."
- MS: [As DB writes "IP Stack" on the board] "Ha ha. He pees stack. IP urine."
- ZL: "Really all we have right now are questions."
- MS: [On a sheet of paper hidden among AM's homework] "#6. Thm: Adam sucks! Ha ha. / Pf: trivial."
- ZL: "I should just source control my...everything."
- DB: "English is not sufficient for teaching compilers."
- TB: "That's it. It's 100 percent done."
- TB: "We were 100 percent done. We just need to get more speed-up."
- AG: "So, Tim, when you are 30, will you say your life is 100 percent done?"
- AG: "make tim: now compiling nonsense.c"
- DB: "Oh, here we go: proof by rant. That's a new one."
- AM: "Do you really want me representing this school." / DB: [Out of context] "No."
- AG: "If I leave the lab, I feel like I'm leaving civilization behind."
- AG: [Browsing through Mike's wedding gift registry] "Xinu only has 50 threads. The sheets Mike wants have 410, but they don't have memory protection."
- AK: "Oh good Brylow left. Now I can leave."
- AK: [First commit message] "modified some ifthenelse stuff to look a little more like class" / [Second commit message] "removed the code I added to ifthenelse, it made no sense and didn't compile"
- DB: [To a prospective student touring the System's Lab] "Ignore the rat."
- MS: [Discussing DB's tests] "Why would you study for his test? You are either screwed or not screwed...it's fairly binary."
- MS: [Left a message for AG] "I hax0rd your boxor!"
- AM: "Oh look. She dumped me on Facebook. Awesome!"
- DB: "Don't stroke the yeast colony."
- MS: [Speaking of his yeast colony] "It's free!" / DB: "Don't release it!"
- MS: "If I just get really offensive and harsh with what I say then I won't get quoted any more."
- DB: "Alright, I'm going home. See you in the morning." / ZL: "The morning. Really?" / DB: "Well no."
- MS: [Anticipating DB's response to new advisees] "You want to be my advisee. Kiss the clock."
- MS: "It is much more important to see me being reamed up the ass."
- JA: [Discussing potential names of Dan Mahoney's future son] "Name him your last name backwards so he can be a palindrome."
- AK: "Big setup no follow through." / AG: "I'm all about that." / MS: "That's what she said."
- DB: "That's not an algorithm; that's a sweatshop."
- Lyndsie: "High school cheer leading is even on ESPN." / MS: "That is really sweet!"
- AM: "I always assume that everyone in the world is just listening to me to talk. I also assume that people just follow me around just to listen to me."
- AM: "Every time Tim opens his mouth to say something about the poster, you just close your eyes and pray."
- DB: "This will all work out right? Induction through hand-waving."
- DB: "Except it's like fake adoption, where it turns out the child is actually yours."
- "If you're concerned about that you're probably in the wrong major, because we're going to build skynet."
- DB: "So we are selling you to indentured servitude now?" / AM: "I hope so, then I get free passage to the new world."
- DB: "Why do you work here?"
- AM: "I have three desks worth of space just taken up with garbage and shit."
- Anonymous: "You know, pretty soon that relationship will be 100% done."
- MN: [Talking about the large rubber rat] "I don't get paid enough to have this thing look at me."
- AK: "Now that grading's done, I deserve a pretzel."
- AG: "I haven't even started, and I already feel defeated." / MS: "Welcome to graduate school."
- RFC 793: Transmission Control Protocol: "When the original SYN (pun intended) finally arrives at line 6, the synchronization proceeds normally."
- AM: "If I think more than 30 seconds into my own future I start to panic."
- AM: "Once again, I've solved the problem, but the computer has failed to see my genius."
- DB: "It takes many years of sucky teaching to learn how to teach well. You have to start sucking somewhere."
- TB: "When you get the packet it is all going to be out of order."
- MS: "I was going to ask you what they stood for, but I knew the answer was: 'Get the hell out of my office Mike.'"
- DB: "You have the plague now too?"
- AK: "It was like Tim's brain on a piece of paper."
- AK: "His abstract was words in a paint can and all he did was throw it on a poster."
- TB: "Yeah, how did we get sidetracked." / AM: "I started talking."
- DB: "Now US-41 through Terre Haute, that's the corridor of hell."
- Zachary's Sister: [Upon visiting the Systems Lab] "It's like having six zacs."
- linux-22.214.171.124/lib/iomap.c: Ugly macros are a way of life.
- ../net/tcp/tcpTimer.c:101: error: ‘rum’ undeclared (first use in this function)
- BH: "Vim has a learning curve." / MS: "No, it's a line."
- MS: "[re: Firefox Plushie] Wow, that look more like a raccoon to me. And wouldn't that just make people position Linux Tux and Firefox Fux is various explicit positions? Or is that just me?" / DB: "Yes, Michael. It is just you. And I don't think the Firefox mascot's proper name is 'Fux.'"
- JP: "I'm laughing because my nose itches."
- JP: "I'm not going to start my own business. For a business to work, the owner has to care."
- MS: "Broken Beyond Syntax, that's going to be the title of my autobiography."
- JP: "I'm not saying it's my opinion, I'm just saying it's an opinion."
- JP: "Yeah, that's just fool complicated."
- AG: "Even Tim's pictures have bugs in them."
- AK: "Warnings mean you are smarter than the compiler!"
- AG: "Do you use text messaging?" / JP: "What's that?"
- AG: "I feel like doing something. What should I do?" / PH: "Go home."
- DB: "Any questions? What else have I forgotten to tell you?" (email to lab) / Response: "The XINU lab notes that you forgot to tell us that you love us."
- DB: "Traditionally, graduate students get a bed to themselves in this situation."
- PH: "I'm really going to enjoy watching the commits to this branch."
- ZL: "Voc and Supervoc joined at the UART"
- George Corliss: "Verbose. Minus 5."
- Steve Merrill: "Publish! Publish! Publish!" (walking down the hall past junior faculty offices)
- JP: "I am just participating cause I'm standing here."
- JP: "New commands are silly."
- JP: "I've solved all kinds of problems in my life that no one's ever solved before."
- AG: "You know scheme. I know scheme. We all scheme for ice cream."
- DB: "I like StarTrek, but that would be less a hobby and more an investment."
- MS: "Subtract two." / MN: "Why?" / MS: "...because I said so." / MN: "...alright..." / MS: "...and then when that doesn't work subtract four. But two should work." / MN: "Two didn't work." / MS: "Damnit! Subtract four." (Conversation continues in a similar fashion until Matt ends up subtracting eight.)
- DB: "So they basically made a hammer and went after everything that could be a nail."
- JP: "This is so unfair to us petty criminals."
- DB: "We'll all be getting eye transplants soon."
- DB: "I am somehow derived from C." (on the ubiquity of the C programming language)
- JP: "First you have to get the $3,000 license for the whizbang that does all the work."
- DB: "I don't remember what the silly window is, but it must be important."
- AK: "[UML is] just a bunch of boxes on paper."
- DB: "Java has corrupted you all."
- KJ: "There are some fonts that really spread out a paper." (discussing parameters for COSC 198 term paper)
- DB: "You're telling me to put in less work. I'm not going to argue with you."
- See MIPS Run, 2nd Ed.: "When we finally make contact with aliens, their wheelbarrows will have round wheels and their computers will probably use fixed-size pages."
- RFC 826: An Ethernet Address Resolution Protocol: "The world is a jungle in general, and the networking game contributes many animals."
- XINU Cometh.
- XINU Returneth.
- XINU Calls.
- XINU Returns.
- XINU Creates.
- XINU Reschedules.
- XINU Saves and Restores.
- XINU Preempts.
- XINU Comes Not to JUDGE, But to EXECUTE...
- XINU Knows Your Inmost Firmware.
- XINU Brings New Life to Old Hardware.
- XINU Waits.
- XINU Allocates.
- XINU Deallocates Away.
- XINU Tastes Great.
- XINU Has Less Filling.
- XINU Runs FOREVER.
- XINU Eschews Obfuscation.
- XINU Does Not Do Windows.
- XINU Brings ORDER out of CHAOS.
- XINU Brings CHAOS from ORDER.
- He Whoever Believes in XINU Shall Have Eternal Processing.
- XINU Shall Run Again.
- XINU Is Not UNIX.
- XINU. It's What's For Dinner.
- No XINU and No Mips Make Homer Something Something...
- See XINU. See XINU Run. Run XINU Run.
- XINU Allocateth, XINU Deallocateth Away.
|DB||Dennis (or Dr.) Brylow|
|GV||Gabe Van Eyck|